Most of us think we’re driven by logic or emotion—but beneath the surface, our instinctual drives are often running the show. In this post, we explore the three primary Enneagram instincts—Self-Preservation, Social, and Sexual—and how our dominant and repressed instincts shape the way we connect, react, and navigate the world. Understanding your instinctual sequence is one of the most transformative (and often overlooked) tools for personal growth.

What we notice—and what we miss—is shaped by our Enneagram type and ego. This blog explores how cultivating emotional intelligence, curiosity, and perspective-taking helps us overcome limiting frames and fosters deeper connection with others.

Depending on your generation, you may have heard those words a time or two, along with “get over it” and “suck it up”. My father was a well-intentioned man whom I loved. I wasn’t a frequent crier, but if tears happened to surface during a scolding, my dad’s immediate reaction was to try and put me out like I was on fire.

Wherever you are on the spectrum of emotions today, I encourage you to simply allow it. Give yourself permission to feel your emotions without over-identifying, rationalizing, numbing, or avoiding them through various distraction techniques. What are your emotions trying to communicate to you? What are the thoughts and beliefs that sit underneath these emotions?

In a culture that often champions individualism, it’s easy to lose sight of our interconnectedness. Our separateness is an illusion that comes from forgetting that each of us is part of a larger whole, shaped by and shaping the lives around us.  Combatting divisiveness won’t be found in the strength of our arguments or the confidence we have in our “rightness”, but in our resolve to be unified.

Discover how the Enneagram’s "law of one" reveals the power of collective awareness. In this blog, Scott Allender explores the interconnectedness symbolized by the Enneagram and how true self-awareness requires the perspectives of others.

The world is changing faster than ever before, which means that the world is more uncertain than perhaps it ever has been. Uncertainty makes us uncomfortable, so the temptation is to fight to hold on to a perspective, an ideal, or a doctrine that helps us feel more certain in a world of uncertainty.

In each edition, I’ll share insights, resources, and tools designed to support you as you navigate the complexities of human emotions, mindsets, uncertainty, and external pressures in a world of infinite demand.

Let’s start with an experiment. Think of a time when you felt really angry about something. Think about what was said, who said it, and how you felt. I’m not talking about a time where you were slightly annoyed, but a time when you were really triggered… Don’t move on from here until you’ve identified it. 

Well, among other things, the enneagram reveals to us one of nine dominant masks that we have unconsciously put on early in life as a strategy for getting our needs met. While these constructs were likely useful to us in the early stages of life (or we wouldn’t have adopted that approach)…

Explore how developed self-awareness empowers individuals to navigate life with intentionality and authenticity. Integrating insights from emotional intelligence and the Enneagram, discover practical exercises to uncover hidden motivations and reclaim agency over your life.

This blog post covers an important Enneagram theory - if this is your first introduction to it, try to keep an open mind as you digest the information. What rings true? How might you find more awareness and understanding through self-observation?