Are You Aware of Your Instincts?
When I first learned the basics of the enneagram and discovered which enneatype I lead with, I just about fell out of my chair. Having worked with many other typologies before coming to the enneagram, I’d only expected to learn a few new adjectives to describe myself, and perhaps a new insight or two about my preferences and communication style. After all, that was the bulk of my take-aways from the other systems I’d used and been trained in. So, I wasn’t expecting to be cracked wide open by this thing called the “enneagram” and find layers and layers of unconscious motivations, fears, wounding messages and self-limiting beliefs. This wasn’t just another “personality” profile… This was a map of the human condition.
I started to read all things enneagram. I read about core motivations, the passion of the types, the virtues of the types, wings, what happens in stress and security, etc. But things quickly moved from academic to actionable when I learned how our instinctual drives significantly color and influence our thoughts, feelings, and actions. So much of my growth work since has been learning to observe the role that my natural survival instincts (which have become distorted and biased by the bumps and bruises of life) play in my relationships, work, and decision-making.
We all have instinctual biases. These biases directly influence how we show up and what we pay attention to. Instincts are common to all animals, of course, and are meant to switch on and off as needed, and only when needed - we don’t “think” or “feel” them into functioning, they just happen (i.e. we hear a loud sound behind us and our bodies move before we turn around to evaluate). They are body-based survival strategies that are a product of biological evolution.
In most animals these instincts function as intended. However, as humans, our instincts become distorted as an outcome of experiencing abundance and/or lacking as young people. The result is that we end up with a dominant instinctual drive (an instinct that is switched ‘on’ even if we don't need it on). The dominant instinctual drive being stuck in the ‘on’ position, steals energy from the other two primary survival instincts, creating an “instinctual sequence”: We wind up with a dominant Instinctual Drive, supported by a secondary Instinctual Drive, and a repressed Instinctual Drive (an Instinct that doesn’t turn “on” even when we DO need it to).
Our Dominant Instinct is, in part, the result of us perceiving that this survival need wouldn’t easily be met, so energy is directed here to ensure this need is always met. In the same way, the repressed instinct is, in part, the result of us perceiving that this survival need also wouldn’t be met, but we unconsciously decide that we’ll just learn to live without it.
The dominant instinct creates an alchemy with the emotional vice of our dominant enneagram type and creates a “subtype” (which we will look at in a future edition of EQEnneagram Monthly). Variations in subtype are why people who lead with the same enneagram type may show up very differently from one another. Before looking at subtypes, however, it is crucial to our self-awareness and growth to identify which of our primary survival instincts is in charge:
Self Preservation (SP)
People dominant in this instinct are concerned with physical survival needs. Largely centering around matters of physical security, comfort, and material resources, they possess an instinctual drive to prioritize anything that feels essential to their daily bodily well-being and survival - from perhaps thinking about what to have for dinner while they’re eating breakfast, to meticulously checking the expiration dates on items in the grocery store, to arriving at the airport 3 hours before their flight. But beyond one’s personal safety and well-being, people dominant in this instinct may also be concerned about the physical well-being of the people they care about, as knowing if their loved ones are alright makes them feel safe and secure in their own bodies. Self-Preservation dominants are more conscious of risks than others, so they tend to be a little more anxious. They are more attuned to their physical environment, always evaluating if they will be comfortable or not. They are generally more tuned-in to physical health maintenance, like scheduling and keeping doctor’s appointments or, perhaps, ensuring they have ordered their vitamins and supplements. They are also more likely to focus on maintaining traditions (which also make them feel safe in their bodies). There may be an internal tension and observable contradiction between cautious and indulgent behaviors - they may want to build up their retirement account, but also want a new sofa. They can adopt a “me-first” posture (e.g. I want to share as long as I have enough for me).
Social (SO):
People dominant in this instinct are concerned with their standing in the group. There is safety in numbers and status directly affects the Social-dominant's feeling of well-being. This instinct is orientated around power and influence, so they exchange information from the motivation of wanting to know who they can or can’t rely on. They build networks and work to connect others. They are concerned with group cohesiveness and are skillful politicians. They easily identify and understand social hierarchies. There may be an internal tension between pursuing social acceptance and image management - expressing only what will make you like them, hiding what won’t, and constantly wrestling with how much of themselves they can truly reveal. There can be an observable contradiction between connecting with others and judging them, as they can adopt a posture of superiority and try to “win” standing in the group.
Sexual (SX):
People dominant in this instinct are concerned with one-to-one relationships. They focus on survival through intimate bonds, which fuels a habit of drawing attention to the particular messages they want to convey which will be attractive to others. They focus on seducing and conquering, and often adopt a posture of rivalry and competition. This is the most intense of the 3 instincts and they use their energy for attracting and impressing potential friends or romantic partners. They tend to have lower inhibitions than others and orient around charming, making an impact, and leaving a legacy. They tend to put themselves on display even when it feels exhausting, as they don’t know how else to be. There may be an internal tension and observable contradiction between the need for building a strong, impenetrable bond with someone and the drive for experiencing something new. They prefer one-to-one meetings and may consider many group meetings a waste of time (particularly where the Social Instinct is repressed). They have a tendency to be so expressive that they often don’t allow enough space for others to talk, sometimes leaving people to feel more like an audience member than an equal participant in the conversation.
What is your Sequence?
My Instinctual sequence is SX, followed very closely by SP, and I naturally repress my SO instinct. Much of my growth work involves learning to tame the SX instinct while simultaneously nurturing the SO drive back to health.
What about you? What is your dominant Instinct?
What is your Repressed Instinct?
