New Year, New You?
Ditch the Performative Mindset for Sustainable Change.
I woke up on January 1st and headed to yoga, determined to start the year centered and connected to my breath.
The parking lot was packed. The gym was packed. Even my yoga class was fuller than I’d anticipated, considering it had been a mere nine hours since we’d all enthusiastically toasted the new year.
As you likely know, January is the "Gold Rush" for gym memberships. I’d mistakenly assumed the crowd wouldn't arrive until January 2nd, but they were already there. We also know what happens next: by mid-February, attendance thins-out as resolutions falter. In April, there’s a brief spike as swimwear hits the store shelves, but for most the surge is short-lived.
While some are incredible at making big declarations and sticking to them, many of us struggle to maintain the energy and accountability necessary to live out those midnight promises.
Why do we struggle? Because it is nearly impossible to permanently change a behavior if we don't understand why we adopted it in the first place.
Each of our Enneagram types has specific coping strategies that frame how we see, think, feel, and act, often without us even realizing it. Under stress, we double down on our core type’s patterns, lean on our "wings," or unconsciously slide down "arrow lines" to reactive coping behaviors.
For example, as a Type 3, when I struggle to get my needs met, I tend to lean into my 4-wing or unconsciously travel the line to Point 9, engaging in numbing behaviors (like binge-watching a show while feasting on chocolate-chip cookies). Without the self-awareness to observe this happening and understand what the behavior is attempting to do for me, I’ll always revert to what is most comfortable instead of what is most desirable.
Years ago, I stopped setting ambitious resolutions and shifted my focus to resolve.
Instead of goal-setting, I chose growth-setting.
Instead of focusing on changing, I focused on intent.
My intent is to stay away from the unsustainable, performative nature of BHAGs (Big Hairy Audacious Goals), which usually send me into a shame spiral the moment I lose my edge. Instead, I return to the path of self-awareness and healing (Remember, much of our enneagram personality archetype is a response to pain).
May this be a year of curiosity and intentional inner work. May this be the year you patiently build the mindsets needed to navigate a rapidly changing, uncertain world through committing to the path of healing, wholeness, and awareness.
Warmly,
Scott
